We sometimes hold onto

what we should let go,

and let go what we should

hold onto.



Look at It This Way...

"When I look around, I see that there's too much pain and suffering caused by evildoing, catastrophe, and economic crisis. Is danger hovering around us all the time, or is there another way to look at things. --- Len, 31, Portland, Oregon

"I'm sure you realize that there is another way to look at things, so the real question is how to adopt another way. You can't talk yourself into seeing sunshine on a rainy day. If you try, you are deluding yourself. Many people, thinking of themselves as realists, feel the same about good and evil. They don't want to take their eyes off the negative aspects of life, because realism demands that we take the bitter with the sweet.

"Yet who is to say that the bitter is more real than the sweet? If your vision of life contains love and peace, if you yourself has renounced violence, if you set yourself on the spiritual path, these things don't mean you aren't a realist. they mean you aim for a higher reality. I don't mean God, although I am not excluding religion. We are talking about hidden potential. Human nature is divided; it contains both darkness and light. You can choose to accept the darkness and lament it, or you can choose to expand the light until the darkness no longer dominates.

"There is no getting around this choice, which is highly personal. I know that millions of people are alienated and disenchanted.They sit passively watching the latest reports of violence and catastrophes, corruption and misdeeds, float by on the evening news. But the old adage is true: one candle is enough to cause the darkness to go away. Once you choose to raise your own awareness, you will have done the most you can to defeat the dark side of human nature and to discover that a higher reality can actually be found and lived. "

--- Deepak Chopra

(Spiritual Solutions)

The Soul in all living creatures...

When someone's in the dark,
even a candle makes a
difference.

You can be a candle.

"You are the light of the world. " --- Jesus

Hatfields and McCoys: a history of hatred

I'd been looking forward to watching the made-for-TV-mini-series since first I saw it advertised on The History Channel --- the legendary feud between the Hatfield family and McCoy family. 

For two nights Tammy and I watched. Finally, we turned stopped. We grew weary of knowing what was going to happen next --- someone was going to 'get kilt' --- either a Hatfield or a McCoy, someone was going to get shot or stabbed to death.

One thing the mini-series did, though, was prompt a good discussion between Tammy and me about hatred and what it does to the human heart. Whether we'll admit it or not, all of us have the capacity for intense hate --- given the fertile circumstances. Also, in the right circumstances, we all have the capacity, not just for hate but also, to execute atrocities to which hatred gives birth. 

Nothing good is ever born of hatred. Nothing.

The mini series depicted the animosity between two families for each other, the Hatfields and the Mccoys, and the cancer it becomes. While the killing of each by the other was tragic, the truth is once a person is dead, they're dead. They're harmed no longer.

The real tragedy depicted by the series is what hatred, and it's kith and kin, does to the human heart. Before any deed is done, it's a thought that simmers unseen. After a thought simmers and gives birth to a deed, the memory of the deed simmers, unseen, in the heart and impacts the soul.

Each of us has a higher self and also a lower self. Like the words in Robert Frost's Poem, which we choose makes all the difference:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. The two roads of Frost's poem are in my heart. The one less traveled is the more difficult of the two. It's the road of my higher self.

Home is...

A heart divided has no home.

An Oldie, but a Goodie --- Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.

--- Derrick Walcott

Don't build a case...

When your heart is open, your ego steps in to warn you: "This is dangerous." "You're going to get hurt." "Watch out." The ego conjures all manner of reasons to fortify fears.

With the ego's aid, you can build a case against anyone, including the one you love, in order to justify what you want and how you're behaving, but your heart will know better. Your heart will know the truth. You can point an accusing finger. You can blame the one you love, but you won't feel good. You may feel justified, but you won't feel good.

Loving isn't just a feeling; it's a practice. It's not just a gift, it's a discipline.

It's easy to build a case against anyone. Why would you want to build a case against your partner in life?

Make choices from your higher values. The heart wants to love even when it's hurt.

Keeping your heart intact...

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

--- C. S. Lewis

Build bridges with your

thoughts and words,

not barriers.



 

Make the highest choice.

 

 

How long will grown men and women in this world
keep drawing in their coloring books an image of God that makes them sad?

You are loved.

What is it

you want to change?

Your hair, your face, your body?

Why?

For God is

in love with all those things

and God might weep

when they are

gone.

--- St. Catherine of Siena

You are loved. 

Love is never given in vain. Even if it's not returned, loving enlarges your soul. 

"I was born when all I once

feared --- I could

love."

--- Rabia

(717 - 801)

Consecrated

When first I read this, immediately I was reminded of
Carrie Newcomer and Peter Mayer.

All has been consecrated.

The creatures in the forest know this,

the earth does, the seas do, the clouds know

as does the heart full of

love.

Strange a priest would rob us of this

knowledge

and then empower himself

with the ability

to make holy what

already was.

--- St. Catherine of Siena

(1347 - 1380)

(See post below:

"Remembering when church let out...").

All's right...

The year's at the spring;

And day's at the morn;

Morning's at seven;

The hillside's dew-pearled;

The lark's on the wing;

The snail's on the thorn;

God's in His heaven ---

All's right with the world.

--- Robert Browning

(1812 - 1889)

Robert Browning encourages us to be at peace with the world --- not to judge it. There have been innumerable multitudes who were convinced they knew how to straighten it all out. These innumerable multitudes have come and gone and the world is still as it is. Everything's changed, but nothing is different. 

The poet assures us that the Infinite Sustainer is present and all's right with the world. Experiencing peace, joy, trust, and love doesn't come from attempting to change the world. The world doesn't change --- but I can. 

Choosing to accept the world in its perfection has most always been the counsel of Wisdom Teachers --- poets, prophets, and mystics. St. Teresa of Avila encourages "Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee." It's a simple remedy, but it's not easy. The place I win the victory isn't in the outside world. It's within me. The world is transformed as my mind is renewed. 

Don't borrow drama by giving energy to things we can't control. May we see with a renewed mind that all things work together for our good. The Infinite Sustainer is present and all's right with the world.  

Spiritual Solutions

“Because pure awareness lies at the basis of everything, the most powerful way to change your life is to begin with your awareness. When your consciousness changes, your situation will change. Every situation is both visible and invisible. The visible part is what most people fight against, because it’s ‘out there,’ accessible to the five senses. They are loath to confront the invisible aspect of their situation because it is ‘in here’ where unseen dangers and fears lurk. In the spiritual vision of life, ‘in here’ and ‘out there’ are entangled with countless threads; the fabric of existence is woven from them.

“Two starkly contrasting visions are competing, then, one based on materialism, randomness, and externals; the other based on consciousness, purpose, and the union of inner and outer. Before you can find a solution to the challenge that faces you today, right this minute, you must choose at a deeper level which vision of life you are following. The spiritual view leads us to spiritual solutions. The nonspiritual view leads to a host of other solutions. Clearly this is a critical choice because, whether you realize it or not, your life is unfolding according to the choices you have made unconsciously, dictated by your level of awareness.”

--- Deepak Chopra

Remembering When Church Let Out...

She sat at our dining room table. “Your song ‘Holy As the Day is Spent' means a lot to me,” I said.

Holy is the dish and drain
The soap and sink, the cup and plate
And the warm wool socks, and the cold white tile
Shower heads and good dry towels

And frying eggs sound like psalms
With a bit of salt measured in my palm
It’s all a part of a sacrament
As holy as a day is spent

Holy is the busy street
And cars that boom with passion’s beat
And the check-out girl, Counting change
And the hands that shook my hands today

Hymns of geese fly overhead
And stretch their wings like their parents did
Blessed be the dog
That runs in her sleep
To catch that wild and elusive thing

Holy is a familiar room and the quiet moments in the afternoon
And folding sheets like folding hands
To pray as only laundry can

I’m letting go of all I fear
Like autumn leaves of earth and air
For summer came and summer went
As holy as a day is spent

Holy is the place I stand
To give whatever small good I can
The empty page, the open book
Redemption everywhere I look

Unknowingly we slow our pace
In the shade of unexpected grace
With grateful smiles and sad lament
As holy as a day is spent

And morning light sings “providence”
As holy as a day is spent 

Carrie Newcomer is a folk singer from the Midwest. Her religious affiliation is Quaker. I believe she’s more mystic than most I know. Many of her songs reveal a vision that peers beyond the physical and unmasks the spiritual source behind it all.

“Holy Now,” she responded in her quiet and modest manner. “Have you heard ‘Holy Now?’”

“I haven’t,” I said. “What is it?”

“It’s a song by my good friend, Peter Mayer. It’s wonderful.”

 “Holy Now. Peter Mayer.” I wrote on a piece of paper that was nearby.

Later that very week Tammy, my wife, was perusing our community newspaper. She looked up and said, “Peter Mayer, the singer Carrie mentioned, is playing at a venue in The Woodlands." I had to ask, “What are the chances of that?” There simply aren’t any accidents.  

We notified our good friends, Mark and Olivia, and made plans for the four of us to attend together.

Prior to going on stage, Peter was at the back of the auditorium visiting with folk. I introduced myself and said, "Carrie Newcomer told me I should hear your song ‘Holy Now.'” He said, “I’ll open with that one for you.”

Peter sat on stage. As he tuned his six-string he introduced himself. Then he began:

When I was a boy, each week
On Sunday, we would go to church
And pay attention to the priest
He would read the holy word
And consecrate the holy bread
And everyone would kneel and bow
Today the only difference is
Everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now

When I was in Sunday school
We would learn about the time
Moses split the sea in two
Jesus made the water wine
And I remember feeling sad
That miracles don't happen still
But now I can't keep track
'Cause everything's a miracle
Everything, Everything
Everything's a miracle

Wine from water is not so small
But an even better magic trick
Is that anything is here at all
So the challenging thing becomes
Not to look for miracles
But finding where there isn't one

When holy water was rare at best
It barely wet my fingertips
But now I have to hold my breath
Like I'm swimming in a sea of it
It used to be a world half there
Heaven's second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
'Cause everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now

Read a questioning child's face
And say it's not a testament
That'd be very hard to say
See another new morning come
And say it's not a sacrament
I tell you that it can't be done

This morning, outside I stood
And saw a little red-winged bird
Shining like a burning bush
Singing like a scripture verse
It made me want to bow my head
I remember when church let out
How things have changed since then
Everything is holy now
It used to be a world half-there
Heaven's second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
'Cause everything is holy now

The words struck a deep chord. About half-way through the song, tears poured from my eyes. I feel things deeply --- both a boon and bane. It's a part of myself that I’ve only recently made a little peace with.

“I remember when church let out…” Peter sang. The words meant something to me because church had recently let out for me, too. "And I remember feeling sad..."

About four years have passed since Carrie Newcomer sat at our dining room table and since I first heard "Holy Now" by Peter Mayer. "How things have changed since then."

In those four years I've learned that sometimes a significant loss opens our heart to a new and larger Vision. "Everything is holy now. It used to be a world half-there. Heaven's second rate hand-me-down. But I walk it with a reverent air 'cause everything is holy now."

It's a blessing to find others whose words speak for us when we're not able, the scribes who record the soul's experience and mine their own lives so we can better understand ours. Thank you, Carrie. Thank you, Peter.

I intend to continue these thoughts in future posts. I'll entitle them, “Remembering When Church Let Out,” or something similar so they're easy to recognize, in the event you want to keep track of them.

Here's Carrie singing "Holy as the Day is Spent:"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qZyoRiBteI

And here's Peter singing "Holy Now:"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfLI1l_Pda4

Words may be true, but not honest.

Honesty comes from the Heart.

Learning from the cafeteria...

Cafeterias provide a wide variety of foods. When I go down a cafeteria line, I look at the different foods and think, "This looks good; that not so much; over there --- maybe."  

I make choices based on what tastes good to me and what suits my constitution. If something doesn't taste good to me, or if something doesn't agree with my stomach, I simply pass it by and choose food that's more suitable for me.

Perhaps we can learn something about life by reflecting on the cafeteria line.

At any given moment, there are almost limitless things available for us to focus our attention on. We can focus on the fire in California, the tornado in the Midwest, the floods along the coast, a beautiful sunrise or sunset, the flower in front of us, the compliment someone gave us yesterday, or the fond feeling we have when all the family is together. It's absolutely true that we can choose what we're going to give our attention to.

What we give our attention to will also determine how we feel inside --- anxious, angry, sad, peaceful, joyous, optimistic.

Based on this cafeteria model why not choose from among the dozens of possible focus points something that uplifts our disposition, something that will activate good feelings?

We can choose our thoughts just like we choose food from a cafeteria. Of thoughts we can ask, "How does thinking about this make me feel? Does it make me feel better?" If the answer is "No" we can try another one. Eventually we'll come up with something to focus on that's agreeable to us, something that suits our constitution, something that makes us feel better than that other one.

There's nothing wrong with choosing our thoughts based on how they make us feel. It's a mental discipline and to put it simply, it feels good to feel better. Why wouldn't we choose to think about things that help us feel better?

Your are an expression of the

"Sustaining Infinite."

You do not have two lives,

one to be destroyed

and the other

to be made indestructible.

To those leaning on

the sustaining infinite,

today is

big with blessings.

"We shall not cease from exploration,

and the end of all our exploring,

will be to arrive where we started

and know the place for the first time."

--- T. S. Eliot

There is only connection,

only wholeness,

only oneness.

No separation.

Jesus understood. He put it this way, "Whatever you do to the very least among you, you do to me."

I cannot do harm to another without doing harm to myself.

Happiness isn't a destination.

It's a way of living.

Finding purpose in one's life

isn't a destination, either.

It, too, is a way of living.

"Get your ego out of your intention to live a life of purpose. Whatever it is that you want to do in life, make the primary motivation for your effort something or somebody other than your desire for gratification or reward.

"The irony here is that your personal rewards will multiply when you're focused on giving rather than receiving. Fall in love with what  you're doing, and let that love come from the deep, inner-dwelling place of Spirit. Then sell the feeling of love, enthusiasm, and joy generated by your efforts."     --- Wayne Dyer

Truth...according to children...

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

5. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

Just for today...

Promise Yourself ...
     
To be so strong that nothing will disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Then do it again tomorrow...

We don't have to be flawless with it, but any movement in the above directions will bring only good.

"Be glad for the things you have, and you will find you have far more than you thought. Then you will not miss, in the least, the things you have not...The great soul is always in search of ways and means for adding to the welfare of others. But no way is better, greater or more far-reaching than this --- just be glad."

--- Christian D. Larson

Whatever we give our attention to becomes a part of us. This being true, it seems logical to choose mindfully what we give our attention to. It makes good sense to keep our attention off things that are emotionally disturbing to us or are destructive to important relationships. 

Our thoughts are more powerfully creative than we imagine. Before anything takes place in the outer realm, it's a thought in the inner realm. 

Success according to St. Paul

"If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I am nothing...the greatest of all things is love." (I Corinthians 13, from the New Testament)

St. Paul gives us an impressive list. He says, "Suppose I have talent beyond measure, knowledge without bounds, and wealth beyond imagination..." And who wouldn't like those things? As a matter of fact those are the things many of us spend much, if not most, of our energy attempting to achieve. If I can only achieve those things, or even one of those things, we sometimes think, I'll be successful.

St. Paul has a different perspective, though, and with that perspective he turns us us and our values upside down. He says, "If I don't have someone who loves me, really loves me, I have nothing at all. I am nothing at all. I finish last because the greatest gift of all is to have someone who loves me."

St. Paul believed that love was a gift, a spiritual gift. Having someone who loves me is a gift; it's a gift from the Universe. We don't receive this gift because we're so special, or so handsome, or so beautiful, or because we're irresistible, or because we're so perfect in looks, mood, attitude, demeanor or any and all other ways. It's a gift, not a reward.

I will get myself into trouble if I begin feeling this gift is a reward. If I begin feeling "Of course I'm loved because I'm so very special and so doggone lovable. As a matter of fact, I must be down right irresistible for this person to love me so." That's a statement from Ego. When we begin feeling that we receive because we must be so very special, rather than receiving as a gift, the spiritual principle is that what we've been given will be taken away. No one, including the Universe, likes ingratitude.

When the Universe gives me someone who loves me, it's one of the greatest growth opportunities available to me. I'm given the opportunity to grow --- to grow into the person that honors, that's deserving of, the love I receive. There are very few, if any, growth motivators like this one.

St. Paul spells success like this: S-O-M-E-O-N-E-W-H-O-L-O-V-E-S-M-E.

If I climb the ladder of worldly success to the very top, if I have an income that people dream about, if I possess cars, and planes, and houses, and vacation spots, and this, and that, and the other, but don't have someone who loves me, really loves me from their heart, I have nothing. I am nothing. I finish last.

When love comes into your life, honor it and use it to grow into a person deserving such a magnificent gift. According to St. Paul, that's finishing first.

Men are disturbed not by things

that happen,

but by their opinions of the things

that happen.

--- Epictetus

(55-135)

Just for today...



Nothing is more sacred

than the integrity

of your own mind.

How do you spell Success?

"...good people seem to finish last..."

I've heard it before. It got me to thinking. Do good people finish last? I decided to run it by family and friends whose perspective I value. I sent an email and relatively quickly responses began pouring in. I think the responses are worth sharing. I'll change a few things so as to "protect the innocent." I've put my thoughts at the end. 

My question to my valued mentors was: "'...good people seem to finish last...' What do you think about that statement." Here are some of the responses:

Response 1 "...there are a million never afters in every one's life because every time you think you found the finish line, and are fixing to cross that line --- the starting pistol goes off again. The statement is a loss of faith and the mistaken idea that the finish is now."

R2 "...Depending on the context, most people that are assholes, liars, cheats, and thieves, those are the ones that rise to the top in business, make the most money, etc... That's how they got there.

R3 "...I think it depends on the definition of 'last.'"

R4 "My thoughts are all over the board. Finish last at what? Usually money and/or career comes in on that topic...I saw what it took several years ago time wise and compromise wise that I opted not to climb the ladder. That didn't make me think those above me were bad, but that I opted not to make the sacrifices they did. The discussion also depends on the definition and degree of success. I have learned that there is trade off between time spent working and success. Chances of climbing the ladder increase with working more and less family time. Sacrificing one's own family time for success means it is also easier over time to sacrifice others. Not always the case, but often true."

R5 "...When bad things happen that are beyond our control it's all about our attitude toward it as to how it affects our lives."

R6 "...I think finishing last is a state of mind and not situational. I have seen people who look as if they have finished first in life, but are miserable. I have also seen the reverse, people who appear downtrodden, but are actually very happy."

R7 "...If life were predictable and everything always went easily, we would never know joy. We would never know love. We would never know WHO we are. How would you measure a hard working honest person if there was nothing else to measure against? How would you know if someone really loved you if everyone acted the exact same toward you? How would you know what your passion was?...We all come from a different place both physically and spiritually. We are all on different levels on every level. And everything one person does completely affects another. The air we breathe, the food we eat can sometimes alter moods, feelings, even health but yet everything always works itself out. We are all here to teach one another something. Sometimes good people are easy to take advantage of because they care so much. That is what makes them 'good.' Good people work hard, have a good attitude, and never say no, because they care. Good people do not finish last."

R8 "At the finish line...good people cross first...It's ez to look around and see corrupt politicians, dictators, etc., doing unspeakable things and living the high life while the everyday 'worker bee' seems to finish last.......but that is speaking monetarily. Everything always boils down to perspective...So good people don't finish last, you finish wherever you want to. There is no outside force fighting against you, sometimes things suck and you are allowed to be in the doldrums but this saying is no different from my fav 'it can't rain all the time' BC it can't. So in reality it's not that good people finish last. It's that they have the strength/drive/commitment or sight to view things in the long term and through their strength, they will finish first."

R9 “Everything will be alright in the end. If it is not alright it’s not the end.”

Do good people finish last? There was a common theme in many of the responses that I'll put into my own words: "Success" is subjective. Whose definition of finishing first (or being successful) are we going by? If, by successful, we're talking about who has the most toys, the most bling, then the next question is, "How much income is needed to feel successful - 20K, 30K, 40K, 50K, 100K, 500K, 1mil.?"

I once had a friend I believed was successful (meaning he had lots of money and bling). He had a private jet, with a pilot on standby. He and his wife lived in a house that took up, literally, 1/2 block. He owned  his own oil company. He and his wife had all the trappings of money. He and I were talking one day when he said to me, "Franklin, I'd be willing to wager that at the end of the month you have more disposable income than I do. I make a lot of money, but it takes all of it to live this way and I have to live this way because its expected because of the position I hold."

I didn't take the conversation any further, but it sure caused me to think. At the end of the month, could I have more disposable income than he?

For most of my life, I've been pretty good at living within my means. I believe in simplicity, and I believe in having as much disposable income as possible. I'm not one of those who has money tied up in a lot of things that others consider status symbols. My family and I have been pretty successful at living relatively simply.

Is it possible that disposable income could be a better indicator of success than bling? If so, that changes the playing field totally.

Is it possible that freedom from status symbols and the pressure to live up to a certain level could be a better indicator of success than bling?

Is it possible that finding someone who really, truly loves you with their heart is a better indicator of success than bling?

Is it possible that being able to lay your head on the pillow at night and sleep soundly because you're not worried about how you're going to pay the bills is a better indicator of success than bling?

Obviously, the list could go on. I'm merely trying to point out the obvious. There's so much more to success than money. As a matter of fact, money, status, and power may have nothing to do with success at all. You may live and die never having made vast sums of money, reached a status position others dream of, or be a power broker. Does that mean you weren't successful. Not in my opinion. As one of the respondents put it, "We all come from a different place both physically and spiritually. We are all on different levels on every level."

Don't allow anyone else to define success for you. You are unique, totally. Deep down, really deep down, what's important to you? You came into the world naked, you'll leave naked. Realizing that, what's really important to you. How you answer that, I believe, is where you start measuring your success --- not against anyone else, but against the values in your own heart.

Everything comes at a price...

"Money often costs too much." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

The Mountain and The Squirrel

The  mountain and the squirrel
Had a quarrel;
And the former called the latter "Little Prig."
Squirrel replied,
"You are doubtless very big;
But all sorts of things and weather
Must be taken in together
To make up a year
And a sphere.

And I think it's no disgrace
To occupy my place.
If I'm not so large as you,
You are not so small as I,
And not half so spry.
I'll not deny you make
A very pretty squirrel track;
Talents differ: all is well and wisely put;
If I cannot carry forests on my back,
Neither can you crack a nut."

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson
1847

It can be said either of two ways:

"'The devil' is that part of ourselves we sometimes call 'the ego.'"

OR

"'The ego is that part of ourselves we sometimes call 'the devil.'"

Both are right.

"To give one's heart is to give all."

--- Gandhi

A good way to live...

1. Believe in miracles.

2. Live in the moment.

3. Look for opportunities in difficulties.

5. Stop talking to yourself about how big your mountains are and start talking to your mountains about how big you are.

4. Dream.

5. Get a dog.

Forgive so you can be free.

There are always gifts...

At the age of eight an accident took his eyesight, completely. As an adult he wrote:

"One should not try to console either those who lost their eyes, or those who have suffered other losses --- of money, health, or a loved one. It is necessary instead to be aware of what their loss brings them, for they receive gifts in place of what they have lost. There are always gifts. God wills it so. Order is restored."

--- Jacques Lusseyran in

Against the Pollution of the I

Judging others doesn't define them.

It defines me --- as someone
who needs to be
judgmental.

Thinking better, feeling better...

Being keenly aware of good and pleasant things in our lives and expressing gratitude for each is a life-enhancing practice that adds depth and breadth to what we experience. Blessings, large and small, are our most valuable treasures.

Being mindful of the good and pleasant in our lives transforms what we see, and how we experience life improves.

While being mindful of the good and pleasant things in our lives, don't discount the value of small things because even small things can make a big difference.

Jesus once said that God is mindfully aware of even the smallest sparrow. We can do only good by attempting the same, and being mindfully aware of even the smallest things in our lives that are good and pleasant.

"No circumstance or fact or event or thing exists or happens that does not have a reason...and so it is with man. All the harnessing of nature's elements and powers and the creation of material wealth and possessions are but passing fancies, things of the moment, for man enters into life naked, and naked he departs. The only thing, the single important thing that concerns his existence on earth is the discovery of his soul."

--- U. S. Anderson

Wisdom from The Jungle...

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife...

...Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
I couldn't be fonder of my big home
The bees are buzzin' in the tree
To make some honey just for me

...And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true

The bare necessities of life will come to you

--- from The Jungle Book

There's a dark and a troubled side of life.
But there's a bright and a sunny side too.

Keep on the sunny side,
always on the sunny side,
Keep on the sunny side of life. 

"It's my hope that you find joy in each and every day of your journey and come to love life as much as I do these days."

--- Anita Moorjani

author of Dying to Be Me

in which she tells her

experience

of dying



Concentrate on what you can do

rather than

what you cannot.

 

Making marriage better...

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

--- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

There's a part of me that doesn't want to write what another part of me does want to write. Ever had one of those push-me-pull-me conversations with yourself?

Well, the part that wants to is winning over the part that doesn't want to, so I'm going to write.

SIDE NOTE: To make it easier for me to write, I'm going to use the words husband(s), wife(wives), spouse(s) and marriage but my observations aren't limited to these relationships. They're equally valid for other long-term, intimate, relationships. I use the designations simply because it'll make it easier for me to write.

Here it is:

It's my experience that very few husbands and/or wives speak only good about their spouses. Recently, I found myself wondering why that is. Here are a few of my thoughts that came to mind as I reflected.

When we marry, we believe, at the time, it's a good thing to do. We decide to marry someone from the information, feelings, and circumstances we have at the time --- and we most always believe we'll live happily ever after.

Life is tough, though. It can deal some very hard blows. Even though a married couple go through life experiences together, they don't experience them in the same way. And people change. Sometimes they grow because of life experiences, and sometimes they regress because of life experiences.

To me, growth is moving toward what I think of as higher motivations like trust, love, compassion, hope, generosity, open-heartedness, etc. Sometimes people go through tough times and, ultimately, they grow, they move more toward these higher motivations, their higher self.

But sometimes people go through tough times and they regress. To me, regression is movement toward what I think of as lower motivations like hatred, anger, bitterness, competitiveness, meanness, etc. Sometimes people go through tough times and they regress, they move more toward these lower motivations, their lower self.

Everyone changes. In the best case scenario a wife and husband change together and move in the same direction toward the higher motivations, their higher selves.

In the early stages of dating and very early in marriage, each sees only good in the other. But, as time passes, as they live side-by-side, each begins to see things in the other he or she didn't see before. Both can become disenchanted, as it were, and begin to question whether they made a good decision.

As each begins to see the "ugly parts" of the other they often focus a lot of their attention and mental energy on those unseemly parts. People talk about what they focus on. What people focus on and talk about becomes magnified.

Although many of the husbands and wives I know don't speak only good about their spouse, there are exceptions. These exceptions are the ones we can learn from.

It seems to me that the very few people I know who speak only good about their spouses do so, not because their spouses are perfect or only good but, because they know that focusing on negatives is not beneficial to them or to their marriage.

No one is perfect. For all the bad someone can say about their spouse, their spouse can say just as much bad about them.

 

This is where the words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning become so helpful in making marriage better:

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

Having a better marriage is a matter of shifting our focus. If we spend our time "counting the ways we love" our spouse it's guaranteed to improve how we feel about them and our marriage itself will improve.

If you want to improve your marriage (and who wouldn't?) learn from Elizabeth Barrett Browning. When it comes to your spouse, devote your mental energy and time wisely, count the ways you love the person you're married to and focus on that. Only good will come from it.

Forgiving and Starting Over

Forgiveness is letting go of the pain
and accepting what has happened
because it will not change.

Forgiveness is dismissing the blame.
Choices were made that caused the hurt;
we each could have chosen differently,
but we didn't.

Forgiveness is looking at the pain,
learning the lessons it has produced,
and understanding what we have learned.

Forgiveness allows us to move on
toward a better understanding
of Universal Love
and our true purpose.

Forgiveness is knowing that love
is the answer to all questions
and that we all
are in some way connected.

Forgiveness is starting over
with the knowledge
that we have gained.
It is saying:
"I forgive you, and I forgive myself,
I hope you can do the same."

--- Judith Mammay 

Two paths...

Recently, while sitting at a stop light, I saw a window sticker.

Just a few minutes down the road, at another stop light, I saw a trailer-hitch cover. 

We say a lot about ourselves with the symbols we choose to display. 

So it is...

"What seems to be, is, to those to

whom it seems to be."

Research by Merle Lawrence of Princeton and Adelbert Ames of Dartmouth demonstrated that what we see is often determined more by what we expect to see than it is by what's actually there.

What we expect to see is determined by what direction our mind tends to flow.

There are plenty of things in the world to make us feel good. There are also plenty of things in the world to make us feel bad.

Whether we feel better or whether we feel worse is, to a large degree, determined by where we train our mind's eye to look, what we train it to see. 

If we want to see bad, we can, and our emotions will follow our thoughts.

If we want to see good, we can, and our emotions will follow suit.

So why not choose to ignore the "Bad News Bears."

While early environmental influences can shape our mind's eye toward a particular tendency, with awareness and practice we can redirect it.

Poet William Blake knew this spiritual truth centuries before it was validated by research. He wrote:

"What seems to be, is, to those to

whom it seems to be."

We can use this knowledge to our advantage by training ourselves to see the good, the beautiful, and the hopeful. Doing this will add texture and depth to our lives. It will help make our life more abundant.

"I want so much to have you feel that you are the only authority in this world or any other, so far as your world is concerned. Do not ever fear that the perfecting of your world is going to disfigure anyone else's world, so long as your intent is not to harm anyone. It does not matter what the world about you says, or how much they try to intrude upon you their doubts, fears and limitations. You are the supreme authority in your world."

--- Germain

Be careful what you think...especially before you sleep.

"It is the experiences of the last minutes before you go to sleep that are more important, more significant, than anything that happened during the day. Take care, therefore, never to go to sleep with negative thoughts in your mind, for they will destroy all the good you may have gained during the day."

--- Omraam Mcihael Aivanhov

A few foundation principles:

Foundation Principle #1: 

Our conscious mind cannot focus on two different things at the exact same time.

Foundation Principle #2: 

What we focus on, think about, generates our feelings. When we focus on some things, we experience emotions like anxiety, fear, despair, anger. When we focus on other things we feel trusting, loved, hopeful, and cooperative.

Foundation Principle #3: 

We have the power to choose what we focus on, what we think about. 

Foundation Principle #4: 

Since we have the power to choose the direction of our thoughts, we can change, in an instant, what emotion we're feeling.

Foundation Principle #5:

It's simple, but not easy. It takes practice, but it's worth the effort.

It's an inside job!

You've got the power...

Refuse to be unhappy;

be cheerful instead.

Refuse to let your troubles multiply;

just take them one by one.

Refuse to complain about things;

learn to improve your surroundings

and create your world

the way you believe it should be.

Refuse to dwell on the mistakes

or disappointments

that are sometimes a part of life;

instead learn how you can

make things better.

Be energetic and positive

about the things you do,

and always hope for the best.

Believe in yourself at all times

and in all aspects of your life.

Before you know it,

those wonderful dreams

you have believed in all your life

will come true,

and your life will be

the happy and successful life

that it was meant to be.

--- Ben Daniels

Begin...

"Lose this day loitering --- 'twil be the same story
Tomorrow and the next more dilatory;
Each indecision brings its own delays,
And days are lost lamenting o'er lost days.
Are you in earnest? seize this very minute ---
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Only engage, and then the mind grows heated ---
Begin it, and then the work will be completed!"

--- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

(1749 - 1832)

like attracts like

"If you meet hatred with hatred, you simply intensify it. You add fuel to the flame already kindled, upon which it will lead and grow and so you increase and intensify the evil conditions. Nothing is to be gained by it, everything is to  be lost."

--- Ralph Waldo Trine



No one gains from strife.



Don't be a Christian...

"My belief is that the truth is a truth until you organize it, and then it becomes a lie. I don't think that Jesus was teaching Christianity, Jesus was teaching kindness, love, concern, and peace. What I tell people is don't be Christian, be Christ-like. Don't be Buddhist, be Buddha-like."

--- Wayne Dyer