I remember exactly where I was the day it hit me. I was on an overpass headed toward downtown Houston in a traffic grid-lock. Four lanes of traffic were at a complete standstill and no one was going anywhere. As I sat in my car and looked at the dozens of cars and drivers around me and the hundreds beyond them, it hit me like a stack of bricks: "You're not special." As suddenly as the realization came, a sense of heaviness also descended upon me. "What do you mean, 'You're not special?'" I thought back. My parents told me I was special and other people who loved me acted like I was special. But in that moment I realized the truth. I'm not special.
It wasn't until sometime later I came across the same line in the Course: "Comparison must be an ego device, for love makes none. Specialness always makes comparisons. It is established by a lack seen in another, and is maintained by searching for, and keeping clear in sight, all lacks it can perceive...You are not special..." ~ ACIM, The Treachery of Specialness
Sometimes grief can be exacerbated by feelings of specialness. On occasion I hear, "I don't understand why this is happening to me," or "I don't understand why God is doing this to me." I totally understand the feeling because I've had it myself. I still have it on occasion, but the feeling is always countered with "You're not special." That helps keep me from taking whatever it is I'm going through personally.
To realize that I'm not special is not to say that I'm not loved. Love is all encompassing and has no favorites. If something has favorites, it's not Love --- not in the truest, purest sense of the word.
Realizing I'm not special can also help stay out of both the victim and the victimizer roles. Whatever it is I've gone through in the past, it's not limited to me alone. I'm not special that way. Many, many, many others have experienced the same, or at least similar, situations. Realizing I'm not special also helps keep the victimizer role in check. Despite what I might think, I don't deserve things many others don't have just because I'm me.
Issues we have and blessings we enjoy have nothing to do with being special. To some degree they are the luck of the draw, so-to-speak. However, it's also vital to remember that just because I realize I'm not special that doesn't mean I'm not loved, as are you, your friend, and even your enemy. Love is Equal Opportunity and loves without distinction based on nationality, race, socio-economic status, political party or religion. We're not special but we are loved as the one Son of God.
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