How do you spell Success?

"...good people seem to finish last..."

I've heard it before. It got me to thinking. Do good people finish last? I decided to run it by family and friends whose perspective I value. I sent an email and relatively quickly responses began pouring in. I think the responses are worth sharing. I'll change a few things so as to "protect the innocent." I've put my thoughts at the end. 

My question to my valued mentors was: "'...good people seem to finish last...' What do you think about that statement." Here are some of the responses:

Response 1 "...there are a million never afters in every one's life because every time you think you found the finish line, and are fixing to cross that line --- the starting pistol goes off again. The statement is a loss of faith and the mistaken idea that the finish is now."

R2 "...Depending on the context, most people that are assholes, liars, cheats, and thieves, those are the ones that rise to the top in business, make the most money, etc... That's how they got there.

R3 "...I think it depends on the definition of 'last.'"

R4 "My thoughts are all over the board. Finish last at what? Usually money and/or career comes in on that topic...I saw what it took several years ago time wise and compromise wise that I opted not to climb the ladder. That didn't make me think those above me were bad, but that I opted not to make the sacrifices they did. The discussion also depends on the definition and degree of success. I have learned that there is trade off between time spent working and success. Chances of climbing the ladder increase with working more and less family time. Sacrificing one's own family time for success means it is also easier over time to sacrifice others. Not always the case, but often true."

R5 "...When bad things happen that are beyond our control it's all about our attitude toward it as to how it affects our lives."

R6 "...I think finishing last is a state of mind and not situational. I have seen people who look as if they have finished first in life, but are miserable. I have also seen the reverse, people who appear downtrodden, but are actually very happy."

R7 "...If life were predictable and everything always went easily, we would never know joy. We would never know love. We would never know WHO we are. How would you measure a hard working honest person if there was nothing else to measure against? How would you know if someone really loved you if everyone acted the exact same toward you? How would you know what your passion was?...We all come from a different place both physically and spiritually. We are all on different levels on every level. And everything one person does completely affects another. The air we breathe, the food we eat can sometimes alter moods, feelings, even health but yet everything always works itself out. We are all here to teach one another something. Sometimes good people are easy to take advantage of because they care so much. That is what makes them 'good.' Good people work hard, have a good attitude, and never say no, because they care. Good people do not finish last."

R8 "At the finish line...good people cross first...It's ez to look around and see corrupt politicians, dictators, etc., doing unspeakable things and living the high life while the everyday 'worker bee' seems to finish last.......but that is speaking monetarily. Everything always boils down to perspective...So good people don't finish last, you finish wherever you want to. There is no outside force fighting against you, sometimes things suck and you are allowed to be in the doldrums but this saying is no different from my fav 'it can't rain all the time' BC it can't. So in reality it's not that good people finish last. It's that they have the strength/drive/commitment or sight to view things in the long term and through their strength, they will finish first."

R9 “Everything will be alright in the end. If it is not alright it’s not the end.”

Do good people finish last? There was a common theme in many of the responses that I'll put into my own words: "Success" is subjective. Whose definition of finishing first (or being successful) are we going by? If, by successful, we're talking about who has the most toys, the most bling, then the next question is, "How much income is needed to feel successful - 20K, 30K, 40K, 50K, 100K, 500K, 1mil.?"

I once had a friend I believed was successful (meaning he had lots of money and bling). He had a private jet, with a pilot on standby. He and his wife lived in a house that took up, literally, 1/2 block. He owned  his own oil company. He and his wife had all the trappings of money. He and I were talking one day when he said to me, "Franklin, I'd be willing to wager that at the end of the month you have more disposable income than I do. I make a lot of money, but it takes all of it to live this way and I have to live this way because its expected because of the position I hold."

I didn't take the conversation any further, but it sure caused me to think. At the end of the month, could I have more disposable income than he?

For most of my life, I've been pretty good at living within my means. I believe in simplicity, and I believe in having as much disposable income as possible. I'm not one of those who has money tied up in a lot of things that others consider status symbols. My family and I have been pretty successful at living relatively simply.

Is it possible that disposable income could be a better indicator of success than bling? If so, that changes the playing field totally.

Is it possible that freedom from status symbols and the pressure to live up to a certain level could be a better indicator of success than bling?

Is it possible that finding someone who really, truly loves you with their heart is a better indicator of success than bling?

Is it possible that being able to lay your head on the pillow at night and sleep soundly because you're not worried about how you're going to pay the bills is a better indicator of success than bling?

Obviously, the list could go on. I'm merely trying to point out the obvious. There's so much more to success than money. As a matter of fact, money, status, and power may have nothing to do with success at all. You may live and die never having made vast sums of money, reached a status position others dream of, or be a power broker. Does that mean you weren't successful. Not in my opinion. As one of the respondents put it, "We all come from a different place both physically and spiritually. We are all on different levels on every level."

Don't allow anyone else to define success for you. You are unique, totally. Deep down, really deep down, what's important to you? You came into the world naked, you'll leave naked. Realizing that, what's really important to you. How you answer that, I believe, is where you start measuring your success --- not against anyone else, but against the values in your own heart.